Police Protection
by Gothgirlreid
Summary: “Oh well. I suppose we should send a detail around to give Mr. Lipwig Police Protection.” Angua sighed. Title may change, but nothing else wil. Read and Review!


**Right, this is the result of too much chocolate and reading **_**Going Postal **_**and **_**Making Money**_** within 2 days :P:P:P:P:P:P Thanks so much to Sweetest-Sammy for beta reading. You're the best :D (even if you do forget to sign out of your cousins account :D)  
**

**Disclaimers: I own no-one and nothing but the idea, they all belong to the great and powerful Terry Pratchett :D**

**Formatting fixed!!! (Sorry if it gets pushed to the top of the page :D)  
**

Moist stared.

He had never, in his wildest imaginings considered that he might see anything as beautiful as the sight that now met his eyes. He picked it up carefully, as  
if it were breathing. Or as if it had a lit fuse.

"What do you think?" He glanced away from his product to the customer.

"Mr. Lipwig?" Moist tore his attention away from the object with some difficulty, transferring it back to the owner. The man was watching him  
anxiously, the haunted look in his eyes was somewhat dulled by the glow of pride that surrounded him.

He struggled with speechlessness, a rare state of being, for several moments before he finally uttered the most sincere words that had ever left his  
mouth.

"This is…is…this is just…wow. I mean…this is brilliant Mr. Jenk- er I mean Mr. Clamp. Wow." So not articulate, but definitely sincere.

He turned back to the newly designed hundred dollar bill.

It really was a masterpiece. The detail was the most complicated and exquisite that had been achieved yet. Every time he looked something new  
seemed to catch his attention. He handed the note off to the man next to him who whistled appreciatively. Moist blinked, trying to make out Mr. Jenkins aka  
Mr. Clamp who seemed to be disappearing behind the image of the hundred dollar bill that was superimposing itself over his vision.

"Well, sir." He vaguely heard the voice from beside him. "this is possibly the finest piece of work I have ever seen. If I can get something  
like this off a printing press I'll be amazed."

Mr. Clamp beamed at the men in front of him. He was happier than he could ever remember being without a paintbrush or pencil in his hand. He was happier  
than when Mr. Lipwig had rescued him from that horrible jail cell, happier than when he had woken up to find that he still had a job at the bank.

"Wait…" Moist's voice was faint, his eyes once more fixed on the bill. The other two men turned to him. He shook his head, tearing his eyes  
away and fixing them on Mr. Clamps face. "You haven't put anyone's face on here!"

Mr. Clamp took the note back and stared. Then he looked up and smiled at the other two.

"One moment Mr. Lipwig." Having said this he turned and scuttled back to his desk.

A few moments of scribbling ensued, punctuated by the occasional glance over his shoulder. Finally all movement ceased. He stared at the unseen result for  
a few moments before rising, as if in a trance, and moving back to his former position. He stopped and slowly proffered the revised note.

Both men leant forward, peering at the newly completed product. Mr. Spools grinned and glanced at Moist, who once again found himself struck somewhat  
inarticulate.

"You…you're going to put _Commander Vimes_ on the hundred dollar bill? He'll go spare!" Moist looked at Mr. Clamp then glanced across at the  
still grinning Mr. Spools then back to Mr. Clamp. Then he grinned. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go make some money!"

***

His Grace, The Duke of Ankh, Sir Samuel Vimes, Commander of the City Watch stared at his officers. Angua, Sally, Cheery, Fred and Nobby were all  
suppressing laughter while Carrot was beaming happily and Detritus didn't seem to have caught up yet. This wasn't surprising, it was a hot day after  
all.

"That man at the bank." Vimes began slowly and deliberately. "He's decided to put my face on this?" He stared down at the offending  
hundred-dollar bill settled on his desk.

"Isn't it brilliant Sir?" Carrot's voice and face contained not one whit of sarcasm. Vimes supposed he shouldn't be surprised anymore. Yet he  
still found himself staring at the Captain. Then he turned to the others, then back to Carrot. Then, very, very slowly, he keeled over backwards.

"Oh well. I suppose we should send a detail around to give Mr. Lipwig Police Protection." Angua sighed.

Cheery frowned.

"Why would we do that? The only one who seems to be worried about this is Mister Vimes." Angua nodded.

"Yes, that's exactly why."

**Hope you liked it. Please review, they make me hyper :D:D:D**


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